Like Craig Owens If He Had a Pair

  One day I was just chillin, listen to some chill ass Sublime when something in my soul was ignited. I was suddenly compelled to throw off the shackles of my suburban, white (allegedly), middle class life and go out and shake the world. I decided I was going to start a movement.
 
A movement without a name, or a cause, or even a point. A musical revolution the likes of which no man, woman, or bro had ever seen or felt before.

 I was so energized by the thought I was going to leap off of my couch and shout it from the rooftops and dance like king David did (Naked, with a big dick)!
But then I realized I was listening to fucking sublime and shot myself in the face.
Nobody came to the funeral.

THE END.